Baby, you’re frigid inside!

By dschlegel, December 14, 2018

Tis the season of Yuletide cheer, Christmas music, and watching strangers bellow out lyrics through (thankfully) sound-proof car windows.

It’s a dance and song we do every year around this time, and for the more eager of us it’s a tradition that some will start earlier than others. Sometimes before Halloween. I could write a whole ‘nother blog about starting Christmas Cheer at reasonable times, but I’ve learned to accept it. The earlier that people start their Christmas traditions, the more crazy they are likely to be, and it’s not something I want to deal with(again).

Back to the topic at hand, we need to discuss a recent phenomena that is sweeping the nation in regards to Christmas Cheer. Specifically, Christmas song lyrics. Yes, in the top 5 things affecting our nation including immigration reform, foreign adversaries, and nuclear proliferation, Christmas Lyrics appear to be the next topic that will divide the nation. Or at least split it 95/5 right down the middle.

I could make this blog about the research I put into gathering my thoughts, but I’ll spare my readers a college style research paper. That’s not me. Instead, I’ll just give you my opinion, and at the end of article feel free to disagree. Heck, you can even be offended! It’s a free country after all.

Based on my research of lyrics, interviews, and historical context, I have come to a conclusion. Some people are joyless.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Quite a leap, right?

Well, let’s take a look at the one song surrounding the Christmas lyric controversy, ‘Baby it’s cold outside’. It’s a song that’s contextually based on flirting. Fun fact, it doesn’t even include a single holiday theme unless you include the weather. This song could be sung during a cold summer night with a massive rain-storm and it would still stand up.

It’s a song where two people are courting, and the second singer is reluctant to stay the night because they are worried   about the pressure of social norms from their family. Based on my understanding of the lyrics, and my knowledge of 1940’s culture and euphemisms, I don’t see how this song became the new pro-date-rape anthem of the late 2010’s. Like I said, I could present my research, but the biggest piece of information I can instill upon anyone reading this blog is that the original songwriter’s daughter has come out and said it’s not about taking consent away from anyone, or forcing someone into a bad situation. It’s about flirting.

Is this where we’re at now? Do we have to vet everything just because several people on twitter don’t like it? It’s true that the cesspit of the internet is where the controversy started. Many people jumped on the “I don’t want to offend” bandwagon and forgot about the vast majority that aren’t, as I hypothesized, joyless. Since when did opinion require investigation, or the outright banning of artistic material?

I mean if there is one song that I think we should take a look at, it’s ‘Grandma Got ran over by a reindeer’. Santa literally kills someone’s grandma. That’s the whole damn song! And if you think about it further, it says a lot about society that a song about Santa and matricide ISN’T the focus of Christmas Lyric controversy. It’s also my opinion that the song is funny, and we’re not touching it on TOM FM. It stays, I just wish I could find a newer version of it.

I truly think some people are without joy, and want to find fault in things that had no fault to begin with. Yes, times change, people change, and context can change. But if you can only look at life through a narrowly defined prism, then you won’t find joy in much. Hence, joyless. And is that what this season is all about?

These opinions are my own, and not the opinion of Ottumwa Radio. If you are offended by anything I have written, you can write a sternly worded email to info@ottumwaradio.com I guess. I mean, if you’re so mad at a blog that you would take time out of your day to write an angry reply, maybe you need to take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself why life led you into replying to some schmuck on the internet.

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